And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
reblogging this shit forever
Study Group [1/7] | Troy Barnes
"I hate spiders, I stole a pen from the bank, I cried during About A Boy…the soundtrack. I don’t wash my hands before surgery. I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the Internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I’m more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie; I just wanna know they feel comfortable. I didn’t get Inception! I didn’t get Inception! There’s so many layers!”